“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” – Brené Brown

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.” - Brené Brown

Positive self-talk is something which is surprisingly uncommon in some cultures. Maybe it is too easily confused, especially in Western cultures, with negative traits such as selfishness, vanity or egotism (which itself is not the same as egoism!)

How many times have you found yourself being excessively self-critical, or blaming yourself for something that went wrong, even when you did as much as you could to make it work, be it a broken relationship or a job that didn’t work out? Have you found yourself down the route of negative self-talk, putting on a brave face ‘out there’ but, when alone, feeling like a failure?

All too often, we deny ourselves the praise we deserve, or we don’t give ourselves due credit for successes or for actions that support our beliefs and core values. At those times, we should reward ourselves, even for the tiniest act or positive thought that boosts self-worth.

Loving ourselves is not only a fundamental responsibility (we shouldn’t depend on others to do it for us anyway!), it’s also the very first step towards receiving the fulfilling sense of being loved externally. How many of you have loved ones for whom you’d do anything? Why shouldn’t you love yourself the same way? Imagine for a moment what you can achieve when you do that consciously, deliberately, with purpose and conviction.

So, show yourself more kindness, stop being self-critical, reinforce your self-worth with supportive, compassionate language. You can start either with the big or small things – but at least just start! You’ll likely already know what your bad habits are…… 

And when you change the way you talk to yourself, you change the way you behave – and that gets noticed by those you love – and then they see you loving yourself more – and so it goes, around and around.

What act of kindness, compassion and empathy can you bring to yourself today? What positive thought and action will you adopt that has a direct, real and lasting impact for you? How can you love yourself more, right now…..?

Love and light,

Jim Sharman



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